Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw
Today is my 19th birthday! Everything feels exactly the same, and in a few hours i have to go to work (can you believe it?). This year has been an interesting one. A year of firsts - University, driving, writing, working, independence. When I turned 18 I had the world at my feet. I think now I've kicked it around a little (and, in the immortal words of pete doherty and the libertines, when you kick out at the world, the world kicks back a lot fuckin' harder).
I love balloons as a symbol of birthday, but i love them more as a symbol of whimsy. That's what i would like from this year, a real sense of whimsy. Not taking things too seriously and having the best time of your lives. I thought that would be 18, but 18 turned out a little too teary, a little too complicated and a little too busy for my liking. I hope 19, my last year as a teenager, will be teenraging. Oh god did i actually just write that? ha. For me balloons symbolise what my heart really desires - freedom, beauty and fun. The sight of balloons will always raise a smile to my face, especially those tied to the fences outside houses. I loved when i was little and my dad would drive me to a birthday party and say 'look for balloons, that'll be the house.' I still love searching for them on streets, because for little 6 year old me the sight of balloons promised such exotic things as fairy bread, clowns and jumping castles. Face painting. pass the parcel. That sense of excitement and joy is still there, for me.
It's odd. A lot of people have told me that 19 wears a lot better than 18. 18 is a scratchy party frock that doesn't quite fit, but 19 is perfect - smoothing over curves and highlighting all your best features. I'll get back to you.
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