It's my birthday tomorrow. This year, more than others, It's crept up on me because I've been working so hard and hardly thinking about the future, just focussing on every day as it flies past. And suddenly, here we are on the 23rd December, and it's my birthday tomorrow, and I'm going to be 20 and no longer a teenager. I'm a little sad because we're having our family christmas tomorrow, which means that Christmas day is going to be so quiet - no children screaming everywhere, no wrapping paper strewn across floors, no broken toys or too much pudding - and not going to feel like christmas at all. And I'm worried then that my birthday isn't going to feel like my birthday either. All I really want to do is to wake up, and feel older, and listen to silly music, and have someone make a cake for me, and laugh all day long. But, I've found, you rarely end up getting what you really want on your birthday. So since it's going to be distinctly un-birthday tomorrow, I've decided to buck tradition and head out for birthday drinks that night with my nearest and dearest - who cares if it's christmas eve, we can still get a drink, can't we?. And I'll keep watching this video by actress Sophie Lowe to Style Me Romy on their birthday, which is so lovely, and to me, what birthdays are all about.
At least I've got the day off work.
X
ps. i know this all sounds very bratty and down-on-myself but i don't know.. this year more than others, it really doesn't feel like my birthday. but who knows about tomorrow!!
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