down in the trenches

'Put on a trench, you're suddenly Audrey Hepburn walking along the Seine - even if you've got red hair and you're five one.'
Michael Kors




L-R: Anna Karenina, Alexa Chung, Jean Shrimpton, Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard, Catherine Deneuve, Francoise Hardy.


I have to admit, i haven't always loved trench coats. I bought one when i was 13 and hated it. I remember staring at it in my wardrobe with barely concealed disgust, and annoyance at myself to succumbing to peer pressure all my friends wore trench coats back then, god knows why), and buying such a silly, stuffy old jacket. At that stage I was to be found kitted out in skinny jeans, rock tee shirts and cargo pants (think Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday). I bought this trench coat in a sheeny satin-y fabric in a rich beige. I wore it once, to a family friend's wedding. Then i gave it away to my cousin.

How are the mighty fallen. I go through coat phases, since i have so many. I'll find a coat that I love and wear it non stop for about 2 months until I move on to the next unsuspecting piece of outerwear. During the winter that just past that coat was the Trench. It was an Yves Saint Laurent for men piece I bought at my local charity shop for $10 because I was dressing up as a french spy for a party. I wore it, and then put it away. But this winter, after seeing Alexa Chung prancing around in her mini Burberry one (did she buy it from the kids section? its sooo short) and after falling in love with everything in the Vanessa Bruno store, including but not limited to Trench coats, breton tops and silk slips, you couldn't persuade me not to wear it. All winter. Every day. Every night. And then some. I even wore it as a dress once, belted with a thick black leather strap and a pair of high heels.

I'm even wearing it now, inspired as I was by all these thoughts of trench-fabulousness. And let me tell you, no other piece of clothing is quite so comforting, quite so transformative as the trench. It's instant glamour, concentrated into yards of billowing cotton and military-esque epaulettes. It's functional - warm and dry from rain. It's classic. But the most resounding thing about a trench coat is its mystery. Whenever I wear my YSL trench the most common comment i get is 'oooh you look like a spy, or a private detective'. They're so synonymous with that hard-boiled PI trudging the streets of a god-forsaken town, or a wily woman with cat-flick eyeliner clutching it to her neck as she runs to a french resistance meeting. The trench is about mystery, enigma, secrets. They cover so much that people wonder what's underneath. They reveal nothing, yet hint at everything with that beguiling tan colour. So many fastenings, so many buttons and ties, and yet you can fling it open with literally just one easy flick of the wrist.

And the great thing about trench coats, they go with everything and they work on everyone. You can wear it with something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. You can wear it with pants or skirts, dresses or shorts. They look great on willowy model-esque girls with perfect hair, but they also look great on slightly frazzled mums running to pick their kids up from school. A student tapping her pen on her lecture pad as she waits for the class to start is just as chic as the french it-girl running her errands through the marais. And i'm not exaggerating just because i like to wear them. It's a scientific fact. Short of the little black dress the trench coat is one of the universally flattering garments.



Monday
Burberry Prorsum trench, richard nicoll top, marni necklace, acne cardigan, chloe skirt, proenza schouler PS1 bag, opening ceremony wedges.

With bleary eyes and under-your-breath curses you face the prospect of another working week. Oh the drudgery! Oh the tedium! Oh the... oooh is that your trench coat? You move aside hanger after hanger of spangly party dresses to reach the tan coat, grinning bewitchingly at you. You pull it off, surveying it carefully. It's been a long time since you wore a trench coat. Too long. You slip into it over your pyjamas and it just feels right. Perfect for now, with that crisp autumn breeze filtering through the windows. Quickly you find something suitably pastel-y and french to wear with it - pleated bow tie skirt, quirky patterned top, duck egg blue sweater and a fun necklace. A pair of wedges on your feet - you couldn't possibly broach the subject of wearing heels - although you think that maybe stilettos would look better. But as you look at yourself in the mirror you see that it all goes together. Remarkable. That's never happened before. Normally getting ready in the mornings is a chaotic rush as coffee spills, clothes are flung aside and your hair hangs limp to your shoulders. But the coffee is miraculously still in its cup and your hair has an uncharacteristic bounce. It must be the trench.



Tuesday
Burberry Prorsum trench, TAO by Comme Des Garcons top, Roberto Cavalli watch, Nancy Caten chain bracelet, SCOSHA rope bracelet, intermix leather bracelet, lanvin for acne denim dress (worn as skirt), acne sandals.

This top is major. And you never say that. But when you slip into this ruffled, ruched, scrunched, tired slip of a thing you can't help but feel very, very, cool. You pair it with a beautiful rich indigo denim skirt, a cool man's watch, various stringy bracelets, and lace up sandals. You're unsure about the jacket though. Blazer? Eh. Leather jacket? too much. Then you see the trench coat, flung over an arm chair after you got home yesterday. With its shroud of mystery and ineffable gallic charm you know it'll go perfectly with this outfit. You'll belt it up, and as you stride into the office fling it open to reveal that crazy cool top. Perfect. Or, if you were in paris... Parfait. Hah.


Wednesday
Burberry prorsum trench coat, la perla bra, kenneth lane cocktail ring, vanessa bruno dress, stella mccartney boots, errickson beamon earrings, stella mccartney bag

You succumbed. You bought a pair of thigh high boots. You don't really know what you were thinking, but it was something about that creamy faux leather and the way they scrunched up around your knees. They were adorable. And fierce. All at the same time. You decide to trial them on a night out, with a flimsy chiffon dress and some sparkly jewelry. You don't need a jacket, do you. You'll be inside all the time, and drinking too many bourbon and apple juices. As you get out of your apartment you feel that crisp chilly wind and you realise that you're going to be cold after all. You rush around your house searching for something to wear, watching the clock tick over until you are just a little bit fashionably late. Huh. It seems as if nothing goes with thigh high boots. Everything looks too sexy, too silly, too over the top. In a fit of desperation (and because you can't really be anymore late or else your friends will leave without you), you grab your trench coat and rush out the door. When you get to the bar your friends grin madly. 'Oh, don't you look chic!' One of them says as you untie your trench coat.


Thursday
Burberry Prorsum trench coat, topshop crop top, errickson beamon earrings, marni skirt, yves saint laurent bag, lanvin boots.

You love it when things don't quite go together. Checked skirt? A little bit 'to the manor born', but still good. Dusky pink crop top? a little bit 'flashdance' but still good. Shoe boots? A little bit last season, but you love them anyway. Chandelier earrings? a little bit too glamorous, but who cares. These things shouldn't work together, but when you add the classic trench coat, belted and sleeves rolled up, they do. They work like a charm. And the reason for that? The trench coat goes with everything. It's like that best friend who complements you perfectly. It goes with good moods and bad, good weather and bad, bright things, dark things, short things, long things. You could wear it all the time. And this week, it seems like you are.


Friday
Burberry Prorsum trench coat, alexander wang top, chanel 2.55, chloe pants, kenneth lane cuff, chloe flats.

You do love a good chanel 2.55 on a friday. There's something clever, so quietly ironic about wearing something so classic on the last day of the working week. It's like your thumbing the nose at the establishment and ringing in days of doing nothing but drinking espressos and reading proust. This outfit is perfect for a little TGIF party. You've got these velvet harem pants on that are so comfortable they might as well be pyjama pants. The comfort theme is extended with your cute as a button bow flats in a gorgeous emerald green. A sparkly cuff sets the whole thing off nicely. You swan around the office, trench coat billowing out behind you, like some fabulous heiress about to set off on a yacht somewhere glamorous. Instead you're going for fish and chips and a huge glass of beer once the day is done. But the trench coat makes it all so much better.


Saturday
Burberry Prorsum trench coat, rochas slip, diamond by the yard necklace, donna karan clutch, christian louboutin 'love' pumps.

You're feeling very chic in this little french slip, suede pump with sparkly 'love' embellished on the toes and diamond necklace. You're off to a romantic dinner and you couldn't think of anything you'd rather way, and any other way you'd rather top it off, than this outfit and trench coat. It's sexy and sweet, and guaranteed to win hearts (and then some). You feel like some french ingenue with messy hair and a bag full of secrets, clutching the trench closed at the neck as you walk around early morning empty city streets. You feel like some fabulous thing, dressed to the nines, but still wearing something as flimsy as underwear. You feel... Oh dinner's here. Yum.

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