all of it

'All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom windows, because I had some idea that the gold light would make me feel better, but I did not bother to weight the curtains correctly and all that summer the long panels of transparent golden silk would blow out the windows and get tangled and drenched in afternoon thunderstorms. That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and ever procrastination, every word, all of it.' 

Joan Didion, 'Goodbye to All That', Slouching to Bethlehem 

The first time I read this chapter all I paid attention to was being twenty two in new york and feeling extraordinary and eating peaches. Now I am drawn to this bit. What is this called again? Growing up? 

X

ps. my friend Belle wrote a little piece on my 'love love love' series, which brought a smile to my face today. Thank you B!
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