moments

screencap Paris, Je T'aime

"There are moments. You will know them."
Eve Green, Susan Fletcher

Today I had coffee with a great, great friend of mine and we talked about moments. The ones that send your stomach churning and your cheeks flushing and your palms sweating. The ones that have you checking your phone every 15 minutes and nervously biting your nails and calling your friends in wild hysteria because you're about to do something you will regret like send a needy, desperate, "love me, love me, say that you'll love me" kind of message. I've been friends with this girl since we were both 4 years old and had little bob hair cuts and shiny shoes. Since forever. My ex-boyfriend once told me that I said "since forever" too much and that it was weird. I've been friends with this girl since I was having moments with this particular ex-boyfriend. We used to sit cross-legged on the harbour terrace at school, lunches discarded by our sides and socks pulled up (never, never rolled down), dissecting our various moments. And today, as we sat with our legs crossed in the back garden of Alimentari with our lemon delicious (me) and portugese tart (her) left forgotten brandishing our phones and laughing about the moments we had, have, are having, it was like we were 16 again and all we cared about was whether our mums were going to let us go to the party on the weekend (no) and whether the dresses we had saved our babysitting money for weeks to get from sportsgirl were too slutty (yes) and whether he was ever going to text back. If you could have heard our conversation today you would have thought that nothing had changed, but it has, and I used to wish that it hadn't, but now I realise that it doesn't matter. Not one bit.

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